Being a mom is an amazing gift. I am blessed to be able to stay home and raise my kids. I was laid off from work about three years ago and I seized the opportunity to take the plunge and be a stay-at-home mom. I know I am l lucky to have the chance to do this. I wouldn’t change my decision. The point of this blog is not to complain, it is to keep it real. Here I am, keeping it real. My employers, while laid back, are pretty high maintenance.
Staying at home with kids 24/7 is a true challenge. There are no breaks. There is minimum adult interaction. It is just you and the wildlife. Some days I can keep in together, but those days seem few and far between. Where is my phone? (in my hand). Where are my sunglasses? (on my head). Where are your shoes? (in the pantry). My keys? (toy box). I lose my temper way more than I care to admit; a whole lot, in fact. I am a far cry of what I was in the business world- organized, socialized, put together and somewhat interesting. Kiddie speak is 90% of my current language, for example, “Did you tinkle?”, “Do you have an owwie?” and so on.
I am the master of figuring out whatever mystery smell and/or substance appears magically on the carpet, furniture or wall. Bodily fluids and boogers have nothing on me, let me tell you!
By the way, YES, I have let the T.V. or ipad babysit on occasion just so I can catch a break.
Then there is the constant doubt. Am I doing more harm than good by being here all the time? That goes for both parties involved in this stay-at-home relationship.
My days consist of laundry, picking up countless toys, keeping the peace so there’s no blood-shed on my floors, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning and cleaning. I clean so it looks like I don’t clean. That’s exactly what I do. I run errands, pay bills, cook meals so they can be nit-picked and do more laundry. I run a taxi service on the side. I have become a master at blocking out whining. I vent to the dog because he doesn’t understand that every other word coming from my mouth is explicit and besides, he’s the closest adult on hand at the moment. Then he starts to lick himself and I realize there truly is no hope for me.
While we are keeping it real, I practically push my kids into bed each night (ok, most nights). Yes, I rush them to bed. Baths, snacks, teeth brushed, story time….get thyself to bed my beautiful dears because mama needs time to compose herself, veg out, drink wine and wallow in her self-doubt about pretty much everything she does all day. I go to bed late so I can get up early and do this all over again.
There are many things I miss about my previous adult life but as long as we are talking about real, there are so many things I have gained. Much more in all honestly. I see my girls every day. I wake up to their smiles and their laughter. I get to wipe their tears. We play, we go out and we relax together and do whatever comes our way. We have these amazing bonds. That time together is irreplaceable and no matter how many times I have to watch that same episode of My Little Pony or break up the same hair-pulling fight over some silly toy, being this stay-at-home mom is one of the most demanding and rewarding jobs I’ve ever held. The funniest thing is, once I do actually go back to work outside of this chaotic house, I know I’ll miss it.